Crow Needs New Eyeballs
by TheEleventhWheatley
Summary: In the three days between Joel's escape and Mike's arrival, the bots struggle to get by without their 'father' and Crow tries to work out how to remove the insult written on his eyeballs.
1. Chapter 1

"Joel, buddy, Circus of Dr. Lao?" complained Tom. "I don't get it!"

"Hey, it's my favourite movie! So sue me!" Joel said. "I gotta go! Hey, see ya later! Sorry, I can't come back! I don't know how it works! Bye!"

The Hexfield Viewscreen whirred closed again and Crow muttered, "Wow."

Gypsy sighed and looked downcast. "I'm going to miss him!"

"Well," Tom announced, "I guess he's gone for good, fellas, and that only means one thing. _I'm in charge_."

"I'll race you to the Mellocups," Crow said, unexpectedly happy again. "I found out where he hides them!"

"Oh, Crow, too soon," Tom scolded.

"Think they'll send us a new guy?" asked Gypsy, sadly.

"Oh, sure, they're bound to," answered Tom. "But until that happens…_**PANIC**_!"

And with that, everything descended into utter chaos. The bots wailed and squawked in panic, nearly shaking themselves to pieces as they ran around screaming. Even Magic Voice was whimpering quietly. Only Cambot retained his composure as the other bots wheeled around in panic. Gypsy must have noticed this, for she suddenly stopped and shushed the bots.

"It's okay," she said, reassuringly, "We'll be fine. Look at Cambot."

The eyeless, netless Crow turned in the general direction of Cambot, before proclaiming, "I would, if I had eyes. Say, Tom, could you pass me my eyes?"

"I'd love to, Crow, except I think my head fell off. It would explain why I can't see."

There was a brief pause as the two robots reached a consensus. "Gypsy!" they chorused.

Sighing, the purple robot bent over and, as carefully as she could, picked up Tom's head in her mouth and awkwardly fitted it back onto his body. Tom shuffled uncomfortably and then shuddered.

"Uh, Gypsy, I think you put my head on the wrong way."

Gypsy sighed, exasperatedly. She knew he was just messing with her, Tom Servo's head could go on any way – there was no front or back. Nevertheless, she apologised and twisted his head round. "Sorry, Tom."

"Okay, this is great and all," Crow interjected, testily, "But Tom, could you put my eyes back in please?"

"Sure thing," Tom agreed, sounding a little bit too enthusiastic. He zoomed over, picked up Crow's eyes from where they lay on the floor, and turned his back for a moment.

"Gypsy, could you, uh, help me out with this?"

Gypsy moved over to Tom and peered over his shoulder. She picked up a marker pen in her mouth and started moving it around as if writing. This worried Crow an awful lot.

"What are you two up to? I'd come over and see, but, you know, the whole no-eyes thing is kind of getting in the way. Can I have them back? I kinda need them."

Tom cleared his throat, then turned round and then flew over to Crow, popping them back into his eye sockets.

There was a long pause before Crow spoke again. "Tom," he said, patiently.

"Yes?"

"Why do my eyeballs have 'Big Stupid Doodoo Head' written on them?"


	2. Chapter 2

Tom chuckled sheepishly and turned in the general direction of Gypsy. "It must have been Gypsy, Crow, I just picked them up."

"Come on now, Tom," cautioned Gypsy, "You know you told me I was writing 'hello'."

Crow considered this, then launched himself at Tom with an angry shout of "Come here, you!" Tom leapt backwards, giggling, and flew away, flying circles around Gypsy. Crow followed him, but his gangly limbs caused him to nearly fall over more than once. Gypsy leant over to grab Crow with her mouth, but he wriggled free.

She twisted round to grab him again, but struck Cambot in the process, the poor bot's cables snapping, leaving him to tumble awkwardly off the wall and land on the floor with a crackle of sparks.

"Oh my stars!" wailed Gypsy, "Look what you made me do!"

Crow and Tom awkwardly sidled over to Cambot, who was lying uncomfortably on the floor. "Aw, jeez, sorry Gypsy," mumbled Crow.

"It's not me you need to apologise to," scolded Gypsy, "It's Cambot! Look what you've done to him."

The poor bot had landed painfully on the floor, and was currently looking about as dejected as a camera-based bot could – which, was, surprisingly, an awful lot. Crow tentatively poked him with a long golden arm. He flinched and spasmed. "Can we fix him?" asked Tom, sadly.

"We can rebuild him –" began Crow, in a dramatic voice, but was cut off by Tom.

"Oh, too soon, Crow," Tom interrupted.

Gypsy picked up the remains of Cambot and carried them away. "And I'll deal with you two later."

Tom and Crow exchanged nervous glances. "So, uh, Tom, does this marker pen come off?"

"I hope so," tried Tom. There's probably some water in the storeroom, should we go get some?"

Crow stumbled out of the room, Tom swooping behind him. "The storeroom's over there," explained Tom, only to be met with an exasperated Crow telling him that _he knew where the storeroom was_.

In the storeroom, Gypsy found Tom and Crow frantically scrubbing at Crow's eyeballs with a wet sponge. They stopped and looked awkwardly at Gypsy as she entered the room, staring quietly at the two guilty bots.

"I've managed to rebuild Cambot, luckily for you," explained Gypsy, "Cambot! Tom and Crow have something to say to you!"

A very different-looking Cambot swooped in, no longer on a tube but now almost spherical, a camera lens extending from his front. "Whoah, Cambot!" the bots chorused.

"That's not what you're supposed to say to Cambot."

"Oh, right, uh, sorry," tried Tom. Crow agreed with this. Then he turned to look at Gypsy and frowned.

"Gypsy, are my eyeballs clean yet? I've been scrubbing for two and a half days but we haven't got rid of them yet. I miss Joel, Joel would know what to do."

Suddenly, from above, they heard a repetitive bleeping. "The Mads are calling!" Gypsy realised. "They haven't called for almost 2.56 days!" The bots hurried back to the bridge, where Crow slapped at the button with his arms.

The smirking face of Dr Forrester appeared on the screen. "Ah, hello, tin toys. How are we all coping?"

"Uh, good, thanks," replied Tom, cheerfully.

"I have 'Big Stupid Doodoo Head' written on my eyeballs," announced Crow in exactly the same tone.

"You have a big smudge on your eyeballs," pointed out a very bemused Frank, leaning closer into the camera. "It's not exactly noticeable."

"You mean it's unreadable?" exclaimed Crow, sounding more joyful that anybody had ever known.

"We did it, Crow!" Tom cheered.

"_I_ did it," corrected Crow, "Your arms are inoperable."

Tom grumbled something that sounded like "Your face's inoperable" before Dr Forrester cleared his throat and stared into the camera in what he hoped was a menacing fashion.

"Well, I hate to interrupt this little party of yours, but it looks like you've got a new friend joining you very soon. He'll be staying for a very long time. In fact, you might say he won't ever leave!" He broke out into evil laughter, nudged Frank and waited for him to join in.

When the maniacal chorus had died down, Dr Forrester chuckled and looked at his watch. "He'll be arriving in five…four…three…two –"

_Thunk!_


End file.
